What’s this all about?
In a digital world dominated by thousands of voices crying out to the void to be heard, one podcast looks to rise above the lower half
and become the most average of all time. That podcast is The Talk Shoppe.
We are four Midwestern fellas just living our lives one day at a time that gather together fortnightly to joke and complain about anything that comes to mind. Through the stream of consciousness beaming from our minds to your ears, our only hope is to one day make you laugh. We may not be funny, or handsome, or smart, but we are trying. And after all, isn’t trying good enough?
From the zany musical intros, to the ‘What did we learn today?’ outros, we can at least make the promise that what lies between the two isn’t advertisements for monthly subscription potato peelers (though that is a good idea). We talk about silly things, we like goofy stuff, and we are full of odd complaints and strange stories. We can’t promise you’ll enjoy it. We can’t promise it’s worth listening to if you make it past season 1. We can’t promise you’ll learn anything about yourself or the world around you listening to it. But we can promise we will continue to make it. Hey, we made it this far without listeners, what’s another 50 years?
Who are you people?
Tom is the editor of the podcast and creator of this very website. He says a lot, but does very little, as is demonstrated by all the called edits throughout podcast episodes that remain in them. On occasion, he will write a song for the intro. Somehow he is constantly ‘working on a website for the podcast’ even though one already exists.
Little is known about Jak. Early on in the podcast he was only referred to only as ‘The Elite Garbageman.’ To this very day, no one knows his true identity. Some say he was forced to change his identity when a bank heist went south. Some say he wrestles methed-out bears for the sheer sport of it. Others say the last two sentences are lies. What we do know is that he likes Marilyn Manson and terrible movies.
Cory doesn’t like grass. He plays the drums like a madman, and also writes intro songs for the cast. He claims to have an ‘infestation of birds’ in his house, but we all know that is just cover for his black-market pet store. He doesn’t listen to the podcast even though he is on it. Maybe he knows something we don’t?
Sam is a candle that burns twice as bright, but for some reason just never goes out. He’s the story teller on our podcast, and always has some crazy life experiences to share. He is also our resident expert on personal grooming with fire. He’s also 74 years old (or something close to it).
FAQs
Your podcast sucks.
We know, and that isn’t a question.
When will your podcast not suck?
As soon as that movie deal comes through; any day now.
I don’t like the things you like. Why don’t you like the things I want you to like?
Probably because you like dumb things.
When is the next episode coming out?
The rule of thumb is to add two weeks to the day that you asked this question. Who are we kidding? No one asks this question.
Do you do anything else besides the podcast?
We always talk about it, but we have a hard enough time getting together biweekly for an hour at a time. Tom wants to write articles for this site, though (like that will ever happen).
Why are you guys so rude, crude, and childish?
Because it’s funny.
Why did you leave X in the podcast when someone asked for it to be cut out?
Because Tom is lazy and usually just skims the episodes because he has a 0.2s attention span. Also, it’s funny.
It’s me, your son. Are you there, Dad?
No.
Hasn’t this FAQ gag gone on long enough?
Perhaps.
There is an old man with a boat, a fox, a hen, and a bag of seed that wants to cross a river. He can only take one at a time in his boat. The fox cannot be left alone with the hen, and the hen cannot be left alone with the seed. How does he get everything across the river?
On the first trip to the far side of the river, the old man must take the hen. The fox can be left alone with the seed. After dropping off the hen on the far side of the river, the old man returns the the near side with his boat empty. The next trip across the old man must take the fox. Once the fox has been delivered across, the old man must return to the near side with the hen, because the fox and hen cannot be left alone together. On the third trip across, the old man must take the bag of seed, leaving the hen on the near side of the river. Once again, the old man must return with an empty boat, so he must leave the seed with the fox on the far side of the river. On the final trip across, the old man takes the hen.